Does real romance exist?

Let’s just start this off by saying I am not a typical girly girl like at all. I will watch sports on occasion and I tend to show my affection through comedic or gag gifts rather than threw anything too sentimental. Actually, of the two of us I have to say my bf is the more romantic one. I wish I could be something resembling romantic or mildly sentimental, I want to want I just dont know if I can. I think part of the issue is that I believe that by acting like some sappy character out of a movie that I will be letting down my walls and being more intimate with the person. Which we’ll the thought of the listed above situations even in a hypothetical terrifies me.

I am not very good with letting people in even as friends, that and honestly it feels like I have been burned too many times before. I don’t have expectations of people contacting me, or them replying to me when they say they will. I just don’t trust them to show up for when I will almost always show up for them we needed. To top of this off I can be standoffish for a bit before I tell you anything personal, on average it takes 6 months to win some over and that time if not more to get to know them.

For me being romantic and showing the vulnerability I can’t even show with what is left of my adult friends, does not give me much hope. Also I think another part of the issue is that feels forced or like it is not genuine. I am sure this is not always the case, but I think some part of romance theses days died with chivilarly.

Women don’t expect me to vie for their affections like Jimmy, jeffy and Joey in Daria. Furthermore, based on what I have read lately woman are usually thrilled to not be ghosted by a guy or have them start really inappropriate conversations even if you barely know them. Between this and our current hook up culture, no wonder women like me can be asking about romantic gestures and what is the point of them anyway? So for anybody who any thoughts or has experienced a romance that felt genuine I would love to hear about if for nothing else to give me hope that it exists in the first place..

Xoxo, the multifaceted nerd