Divisions of labor

There is someone I know who on top of going to work, doing all household chores, cooking, and running their own tik tok does it and is okay with it. This does not jibe with me whether you are male or female. I have read many a reddit story and newspaper article about this partner who does all the work, gets none of the thanks in return and ends up resenting their partner in the end.

Actually sadly I have been that partner Joe my bf does not resent me daily I will never know. I however at least try to help with the cooking and cleaning when I feel up to it. I also try to compensate with this making sure we have food in the apartment , basic toiletries and cleaning to make sure we can actually move around the apartment or see items in the fridge, freeze, etc. I tend to do more of the emotional labor and the researching.

However, I suspect their may have been some spats with the person I know since they almost divorced 3 to 4 times in going on 8 years of marriage. But some of this might have had to do with the wife figuring out their trans and poly. Which is alot to put on someone no matter how open minded you are or can be. This is really odd considering they are kind of a tradional couple they had the big fall wedding, she took his name, they bought a house and pets.

But I think these days the vision of what a family looks like and what their l tender roles are gender(s) have become more malleable. This is not the 1950’s with doris day taking care of the house, making dinner and waiting on her husband and foot. We are past the days we’re women should be told to “sit still and look pretty” in the words of Daya.

The issue now is finding ways to bend and stretch those traditional gender roles without taking your partner for granted especially when they do everything and then some with who knows how much thanks or appreciation in return. I think the goal from the late 1980s of an equal partnership in a marriage/relationship/polycule should be something resembling fair because finding a way for it to be equal sounds like a logistical nightmare..

Even with this goal of fairness of the relationship labors be they emotional of physical, sometimes I can’t help but wonder how many of these relationships actually exist or how much both people compromise for their family to make sure things go smoothly. Any thoughts or comments on this would be much appreciated..

Xoxo, the multifaceted nerd

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Rejecting the application before giving the person a chance…

I don’t know if this has happened to a lot of job hunters but one trend I am noticing is that if you don’t have a certain specific job history recruiters are not even giving you a second glance. Lets just say for the past couple days I have been applying to major corporations for customer service based jobs that I could do if I was trained properly but I am getting rejected because I don’t have the “proper” background.

Also, this is further a vicious circle because I am applying there to get job experience but I am being rejected because I lack the proper experience. I am wondering if other job seekers out there are encountering this catch-22?  Even with this bad news,  I am needing to stay motivated though since in a month I join the “long term unemployed” group which would be mean I would have been unemployed for six months. I am wondering if anyone else will be joining me in this group soon enough. Also, I noticed that the closer I get to joining this group, the more  I now feel like Marshall where I would be happy to put on pants in the morning.

I think that is just the thing all those unemployed want a purpose, a place to go, a place where they feel like they can make a difference in somebodies life, even if it is just to make them smile or laugh. Or in some cases people just want to feel like they make some sort of positive contribution to society. I guess for me my ideal dream position other than teaching community college would be to help those that are less fortunate have a better life be it through finding work, counseling, helping them survive the jumping through hoops that is completing community college coursework and getting an AA. I have been really wanting to pursue working for a nonprofit or a place where I just get to help people in general.  I guess my last query to you readers is have you come up with dream positions you would like to be employed in when you get hired?