Oh what a year it has been…

Alright, so where do I began with as far as how this year has gone thus far, I have got a new kick ass job that I actually like and actually look forward to going to work everyday. The people are nice and always willing to help even with receiving nothing in return. The thing is I have actually only been certified to do my job for the past 3 to 4 months so in a sense I am still learning my job and it is still kicking my ass. I hate not knowing things and I have accepted I will feel dumb at this job at a daily or weekly basis until I do some tasks so much I could do them in my sleep.

No you think this one stresser and me being behind on many doctors appointments and not having gotten new glasses when I should have got them last year.  (the refracting stuff is wearing off and am having hard time seeing well during the day, stupid sun) Now I admit it has been part making excuses, stress and being mildly depressed has not helped. I will fully admit I am having a hard time motivating myself to get up early enough and get that s—done.

Now part of this in addition to my professional work like going kick, kick, kick, (have we kicked you enough yet) , my personal life has decided to join in the kicking. It is partially my fault I had the bright idea that I could convince my s.o. to start looking for work, get his permit and license and maybe get one of those adult jobs with benefits and weekends off. Good idea in theory, in application it was a bad bad idea, I have myself wondering what the hell did I get myself into… No usually I don’t mention my s.o. in my blog but as of late he has reached a level of dumbassery and jerkiness that I have to talk about it , and yes I know those are not real words.

Now he does have a full time job the problem with this job is it has crappy hours, and its a time suck, like even when he is not there is trying to solve problems while still stupidly being terrified that he will be fired even though from what I can tell he is this companys walking and talking doormat.

So  while I have been supportive of this job in the past when I was unemployed and broke and never felt like I had any right to say anything about it, and I am now working a full time job that could turn into something.

Now here is the problem I basically gave him the ultimatum to look for work for four hours a week, get his permit, go on interviews, apply for other jobs, etc. and in return he could see me and I thought it would give him some incentive. Yeah, he has spent the past couple weeks , trying to move up in the current company that has caused for me many years of resentment and anger to build up on since it feels like I have been the one bending over backwards for him. Heck if I didn’t know and contact people and keep in touch over the years he would have less friends than he does now.  I am resentful of him, the place he works for etc, and I know I should try to be supportive when it seems like at every opportunity he will try to make feel small because my job is seasonal and that he thinks I should be looking for work, when I don’t even feel adept at my current job.

It is this that caused a three week break that I need to vent get angry, cry, bitch to my friends etc.. and then the s.o. and I had sex and things got complicated. I have since realized he needs to kick his own butt and that he wants a future with me, he needs to show it and all he has been showing me is that he doesn’t want to do anything but working at the same company he has been working at for 3 +  years. I am not saying I want him to quit tomorrow I just want him to make an effort at bettering his life, for me and for us. Every time I have a convo with him it feels like I am stuck in a conversation with a younger version of my dad and I don’t want to marry a man so stuck in his ways.  I just want to know that he is looking for work, I don’t care if he applied for 100 jobs and did not get any calls at least than I know he is trying to change the situation.

So I am know officially stuck in limbo and dragging myself to counseling and then the s.o. and I to couples counseling since we are in desperate need of a mediator to either work things out or break up. At the rate things are going it could be the latter, since from what I could tell he is digging his head in the sand, and is totally oblivious of the fact that his friends, family and hell girlfriend haven’t seen him since he is never around and always working and I have been the only one so far to speak out about it.  Its just he can’t have the crappy job and me, I would like him for once to choose me or us over a job that so won’t be here even I end up ending things with him and he seems in denial about that even being a possibility in the first place. / end rant and any thoughts on how to calmly deal with this situation in fair verbal fighting manner are much appreciated

 

Interview gone bad…

I was in a pretty decent mood today when I woke up since I had an interview to go to today, yeah a glimmer of hope. Well, I was wrong I prepped for the interview looked up questions on glassdoor.com, did research about the company, what I could find anyway. I was confident, calm, and relaxed and planned to wow the interviewer when I got asked a couple questions that made me want to bury my head in the sand. My first one was why I got fired from a position in which the customers decided your fate whether you did a good job or helped them in the first place. Also my interviewer then proceeded to ask why I was not pursuing enough educational positions since I had my masters. This was what I was told after I asked if she had concerns about me, and other than this interview only one employer I have interviewed has said this out of twelve or thirteen.

When will people learn that just because you have said skills to teach does not mean anyone will hire you to do so unless you have some teaching experience or a composition instructor who loves you.  Also, getting into teaching to me is like trying to get into the acting business, the competition is fierce. It is vicious cycle on top of which I am not sure what sort of career I want to pursue at this point in time.

I have been volunteering but when your interviewer tells you that you are not being “aggressive” enough pursuing your “career” goals.  I was so mad I didn’t even inquire to this person about calling back about my application status in the future, my gut feeling is that I am not hired, and if this person had these concerns I should have not been interviewed in the first place. I might apply to this same company again with the hope that I get someone well that gets me.It was like a bad date, it was so bad I cried afterward hours later and had copious amounts of ice cream of ease the pain while not emotionally healthy, didn’t hurt.  As soon as I see a nutritionist I am sure said bad ice cream behavior will have to stop so I can make my goal weight my next summer or fall.  So to all those looking for work have you ever had an interview go from good to bad over a couple questions, and how did you deal or salvage things if they were going down hill?  Also, even those who have jobs I am all for hearing your interview horror stories too.

 

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