I have not posted in the past couple months because I have finally landed a full time job with benefits (well its seasonal but it sill counts in my mind) . I have my first adult job, and this has been a good and bad thing for me. It has finally giving me the funds to do things to renovate my life and room such as getting a much needed new pair of glasses and a new printer since mine has gone the way of the dinosaurs. The weird thing is I am not used to making a decent wage and still since I am intensely in training and trying to learn my current job, I won’t feel like I have earned it until I am doing at least adequate in my position.
Another weird thing is that I am currently for the first time ever making more than my s.o. even with the money that gets taken out of my check for taxes, etc. I think this among my weird schedule for work has caused some strife among us. ( I mean I know the s.o. is proud of me but I think a small part of him is jealous, whether he wants to admit it or not) My s.o. has this saying that he obviously stole that “we both can’t be going crazy at the same time”. I think that is what is happening currently.
Lets just say his workplace and family life has made his current life very fragile to the point where I am grateful on the days that he will actually eat or get a good days rest. And in my case our training has been accelerated and I will be started doing my job way sooner than expected, so this on top of medical stuff and stuff I know I should have done months ago is wigging me out in the words of Buffy. Also I will be starting the job at a new location but the same city, so I am worried about driving there since I am sort of a new driver and it takes me a couple times of practicing driving to a place before I can actually do it. It weird I know but currently it is what works me tell I can make the time to conquer driving around this city and on the freeway, etc.
For me I think I just have too much going on or it feels like and in the word of a friend of mine, his and my current theme for this year “adulting sucks”. Even if I am going at my own pace to be honest, and I am beginning to feel like Carrie a bit in the first couple seasons of sex and the city like I am barely living a life in the first place. Are their any other people out there in the blogsphere who are also feeling this about their own life?